I used to complain about the differences between my husband and I; our temperaments, the way we parent, the way we problem solve. I tried, and some times still do, to get him to do things "my way", the way I think they should best be handled. I pinned my "use of guidance" aka controlling ways, on being the oldest child growing up, often having to fend for myself and figure things out way before my time. But slowly, and I'm mean painfully slow, over the years I have come to realize that I can rely on someone....my husband.
I've come to realize that my way is not always the right way, gasp, my view is not the only view. Even when I feel strongly about it, I've conceded that there are other ways that issues can be approached and resolved. I've learned over the years, 25 with my husband to be exact, that if I allow myself to take a deep breath, let go of the reigns a little and let him lead, instead of me being the one teaching/directing.....I can be the student, the one learning and growing.
Now, there have been times when I stepped back so he could take over a situation, and I wasn't happy with the way he either handled it, or with the outcome........but guess what, no one died, it was taken care of and we moved on. And of course there are the times that my bright ideas, way of handling issues turned out to be epic fails....the difference is, my husband was far more forgiving of my approach and outcome, than I of his. That was a painful lesson.
So I've learned, and am still learning, that focusing on a situation, is not as important as staying focused on my marriage. That our differences are a blessing in disguise and should be embraced instead of fought against. That no matter how many degrees I have hanging on my wall I am still a work in progress. I am especially thankful that my kids have two different parents to be influenced by....who knows, between the both of us they may actually continue to grow into pretty awesome people.